Principles To Follow When Dating Muslims

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By Ann Turner


Islam supports courtship that leads to marriages with integrity. This is why it puts strict rules for dating Muslims. They apply to couples who are both adherent of the faith as well as those who faiths diverge. When these principles are broken, the violating parties face very serious consequences. They are regarded as outcasts from the community and will face the wrath of Allah.

A Muslim is at liberty to love anyone and even proceed to marry him or her. This is anchored in Islamic faith whereby people are encouraged to love and extend this love to all creation by Allah. The rules are only meant to protect those involved from hurting and also ensure that the society is not dysfunctional. This is why relationships, engagement, premarital contact and marriage are strictly guided.

There is no restriction on where people can meet and how they fall in love. The traditional society involved people living together. They were introduced by relatives and parents after thorough evaluation of their history. They could be monitored and their behaviors were known. This made courtship easy and was certain to lead to marriage.

As people disperse and people desire to make personal decisions on marriage, online dating takes root. It is embraced because people no longer live in exclusive societies. It also gives people an opportunity meet partners from other countries or cities. This is not a reason to break any of the courtship rules. Meetings that have their genesis on the internet must also remain within the principles set in the Quran.

The principle rule of courtship is that the partners must never be found in the same room or space without a chaperon. This seclusion is deemed dangerous because it exposes the couple to temptations of sexual engagement. When you meet online, a person must not tempt you into getting into private space. This will compromise personal integrity, leaving you hurt and destroying your courtship.

Chaperon was responsible for supervising the courtship process in the traditional society. Where this is impossible, group activities are encouraged. Gather friends, age mates or even join families during gatherings. You are not even allowed to exchange a kiss until you get married. If the family learns that you have engaged in any of the prohibited activities, you will be sanctioned. The engagement might be broken for that reason.

There is growing emphasis for halal dating. It allows you to maintain contact with the person you are interested in without violating the rules. You remain in touch through phone calls, internet or meet during public gatherings. This arrangement still allows family, friends and relatives to introduce potential partners. As you continue to engage, you will make a decision whether to continue with courtship till marriage. A Nikah is signed- this is a contract that is as binding as a marriage certificate.

Do not mistake courtship in Islam to be devoid of love and emotions. There are enough opportunities for the couple to make up their mind about each other. They are only restricted from private interactions before marriage to protect them from being hurt as well as protect the society from broken marriages. Whether you meet online or in real life, you must adhere to the principle of separation till marriage.




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